Dear First Love,
I feel like all of that phone conversation was a lot to take in, and I'm sorry if you don't want to hear it. Ok, I lied. I'm not sorry. I'm only telling you what I would want to hear. I cannot begin to imagine what you feel or what you want. I can't put myself in your shoes. I wouldn't want to. I think it's inappropriate to try to imagine what your life has been like in the last 6 years, let alone the 20 years prior to that. Something that you said tonight in conversation stuck with me. That you ran. I never looked at you leaving in that light. Actually, that's not true either. I must have known that you did. On some level, maybe you run, still. That's for you to figure out. I promise I'm not dwelling. I wanted to tell you though. I wanted you to know how sorry I am. For not being a better friend to you then, for not making it easier for you to stay, for not accepting that then.
Love,
K.
I feel like all of that phone conversation was a lot to take in, and I'm sorry if you don't want to hear it. Ok, I lied. I'm not sorry. I'm only telling you what I would want to hear. I cannot begin to imagine what you feel or what you want. I can't put myself in your shoes. I wouldn't want to. I think it's inappropriate to try to imagine what your life has been like in the last 6 years, let alone the 20 years prior to that. Something that you said tonight in conversation stuck with me. That you ran. I never looked at you leaving in that light. Actually, that's not true either. I must have known that you did. On some level, maybe you run, still. That's for you to figure out. I promise I'm not dwelling. I wanted to tell you though. I wanted you to know how sorry I am. For not being a better friend to you then, for not making it easier for you to stay, for not accepting that then.
Love,
K.
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